Foundations

"'Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26 And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.'"
(~ Matthew 7:24-27)

"For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ."
(~ 1 Corinthians 3:11)

Foundations

I built a castle out of clouds
Then watched its proud stones turn to rain
But, foolish being that I am,
Learned nothing from the scene
And built my next home on the sand.

The rain, it fell; the flood arose
And washed me with it out to sea
Yet how short-sighted I remained
For in my pride and lunacy
I built a tower on the waves.

Then by the current, sure as fate
I, with it, on the rocks was thrown
But there, more humble than before
A house at last I built on stone,
And finally foundation sure
Upholds it through rain, flood, and storm

For unlike the clouds and sand and waves
This rock of its own strength remains.


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   For some, perhaps, this poem speaks of finally finding the security of salvation in Jesus Christ after a life lived without Him -- and it is meant to relate to that. But for me, this is my daily struggle with pride, with the self-centered arrogance of setting up my own plans, founded on selfish desires, built by my estimation of my own wisdom and strength. But all of my wisdom and strength inevitably fails me; my ways are not yet God's ways, nor are my thoughts His (so long as I am focused on myself, and put myself at the center), and so the plans and life I construct are inevitably destroyed by the circumstances of life which God sends or allows to come my way -- and in that moment there are three options:

1. Curse the circumstances and begin again with my own plans (which only continues the cycle)
2. Give up in self-centered despair, since I am never enough
3. Humble myself in surrender to God and seek His will.

   Building up my own plans, based on my will, always leaves me ready to become frustrated and angry, because, with myself at the center, any interruption or disturbance of my will is a personal offense; even my own weakness or inadequacy is cause for anger, resentment, despair. But kneeling before God, building upon His words, saying at every moment, "Here I am, Lord; what is Your will in this situation? How is Your love speaking to me in this moment, and how might I respond in a way that pleases You? What would You have of me this day?" -- that is what brings true peace and joy, because it is built on the immovable rock of God's love and wisdom, and because I am no longer at the center. If my only desire in every situation -- if every plan of mine and every moment of my life -- is to be conformed to the will of God and to obey and please Him, then the changing circumstances of life (even the most difficult ones) are neither an offense nor a cause for despair, but only more and more opportunities to serve and love God, and to receive and rejoice in His love. True life and freedom, in the end, are not found by exalting my own "wisdom" or building my own "strength," but only by becoming ever more and more conformed in all my thoughts, desires, and emotions to the Wisdom of God, and by relying on His Strength for my every action. As Thomas Merton writes,

"in all that happens, my one desire and my one joy should be to know: 'Here is the thing that God has willed for me. In this His love is found, and in accepting this I can give back His love to Him and give myself with it to Him. For in giving myself I shall find Him and He is life everlasting.'

"By consenting to His will with joy and doing it with gladness I have His love in my heart, because my will is now the same as His love and I am on the way to becoming what He is, Who is Love. And by accepting all things from Him I receive His joy into my soul, not because things are what they are, but because God is Who He is, and His love has willed my joy in them all." (~ New Seeds of Contemplation, emphasis added)

 ...And this is what it means to build my house, at last, "on stone."

For unlike the clouds and sand and waves
This rock of its own strength remains.